BARKUS

It rained last Michaelmass, so we all huddled round the hearth and thought of distant sunny shores as the minstrel played his tune

2006-10-06T13:14:00.000-07:00

This is awesome.

And go see The Departed, or at least rent Infernal Affairs.(see below)

And, look, I know that I've expressed displeasure with Lost before, but that first episode was pretty f-in awesome.

In other news, it only takes 48 hours to download a movie from iTunes...making it way more convienient than going to the video store.

And their library is awesome!

that was sarcasm...

nd,

The old gang went out to lunch, but Renfield kept trying to order flies, and the waitress just frowned...

2006-09-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

I was once told that absence makes the heart go yonder, but how can't you just watch, remember, and look for your old slap bracelets...

We went out for a drive in the mountains, but the falling debris messed with my white balance, so the pictures suck

2006-08-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

This is just awesome...

Empty seats mean you're stupid and have no taste...

2006-07-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

That is all you bastards if you don't see this...who am I kidding, nobody reads this clap trap.

Maybe if I had some exclusive behind the scenes pictures of an upcoming film, I could post them, have the server crash from links, and then be sued by a multimillion dollar corporation for posting them...

...yeah...that'd be awesome!

Until then, watch this...(you can watch it on Apple, but even my Mac doesn't play their quicktime movies any more...fuckers!)

I smell......the sea...god, how it reminds me of Clara...

2006-07-16T00:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been away, but...what the shit can you do?

Look at this and be weirded out.

And did I post this?

I really like this...please turn up the sound...ha.

..and this...

Bye!

I'll take your Mum-ra, and raise you........MONSTARR!!!!

2006-06-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

Look, I know everybody says this is a knock-off of Thundercats but I don't care. Fact is, I liked this one better. I had four or five of these toys, to just one from TCats (Lion-o). I used to love my Stargazer action figure, even though thinking back on it my parents must have gotten that for me cause he was in the bargain bin. But anypoop, here's the first show of the series.

This and more awesomeness can be found here.

Monday...it rained, and the crabs marched inland

2006-06-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm always amazed by some of the gems you find on TCM. The other night, bored and alone (oh, don't be sad for me!), I flipped through the channels to finally settle on the affably queer Robert Osbourne as he discussed the film of the evening with some scholar of, I do fear, dubious credentials. The film was Black Narcissus, which if you haven't seen it is a pretty amazing Technicolor film by the British duo of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger (Mathy would know Powell's work from Peeping Tom). The film was very good, and beautiful in a way that few movies are any more.

But I don't want to talk about this film. This film simply got me back to landing on TCM as I moved through the TV channels. Yesterday at midnight, well...actually...every Sunday night at midnight, TCM shows some silent classic. Now, generally it's some crap melodrama which I can't stand (and I don't care what Korte says, Broken Blossoms bores the shit out of me). If they show something like a Buster Keaton film, I think about watching it, but fall asleep after a few minutes. Last night they showed The Cat and the Canary, which was amazing. Now, don't get me wrong, some of the stylings of the silent era still pulled this film down.

But the director Paul Leni did such an amazing job with so many aspects. The film is rife with interesting superimposition effects. When a character announces that a ghost is present, a giant skull suddenly appears in the air and screams. There are quick push-ins on screaming women, and the camera floats down the dusty corridors of Cyrus West's mansion like it was a steadicam. I sometimes forget to what level silent directors had gotten the mechanics of filmmaking, before sound and its stringent requirements made the camera stand still again.

This film is really great, and I would definitely recommend it. It was released by Universal in 1927, just a few years before that studio became world famous for horror films like Browning's Dracula and Whale's Frankenstein...

...I liked the Wolf man the best. Didn't Lon Chaney, Jr. look so damn sad in all those movies?

(speaking, sort of, of Korte, here's a link to my cinematography professor's page)

The Days of Being Awesome!

2006-06-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

Dudes, I so remember when my friend had the newsletter and was showing me the "secrets" to Zelda...awesome

Quality ain't all of that, but Robbie the Robot was bad-ass.

This next one reminds me of something else from the mid-80's, but, come on! How awesome is this video. When compared to the crap the same company is popping out today, no wonder their market-share sucks. But this commercial, this one right here is as radical as anything you'll find.

More dudical stuff...by now we're in the late 80's when things started getting strange.

Here's an ad for the game most of us probably played more than any other game (at least on Gameboys)

This is in honor of Virginia Beach and wasted drunken hours spent trying to play this game and get past the first board. I actually really dig this commercial. It reminds me of the sun and food and goodness of VA Beach, and all the other things that go on down there.

Okay, I was going to wrap up, but this one is f-ing awesome. I played this thing forever, and could only occasionally beat the second level.

Wait a minute, found another awesome one.

Well, I was hoping for a little video of the most ridiculous game I've ever played, but no luck, so here it is.

What?!!!? You're reading this?!!!!?

2006-06-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe it. At the center of the vaulted chamber, on a raised dais, lay the Savilla Stone. One of the blind moth priests stood guard, his akaviri dai-kitana at the ready, but he was little match for what he could not see. Having dispatched of the guardian, a welkynd stone began to fire bursts of energy at me. I scooped up the Savilla Stone, and ran back down one of the cavernous tunnels that stretched throughout the Catacombs. I found myself at a dead-end, save for a rusty ladder that vanished into the heights above me. I followed this ladder, reached a grate, and pushed it aside.

I found myself emerging from the well at the Temple of the Ancestor Moths. I looked around cautiously, and seeing neither Brother Hridi or Brother Hjar, I slipped out into the courtyard. Prior Maborel's horse still stood where I'd left him. The beast was loyal to the end. I threw myself up into the saddle and tore off from the Jerral Mountains, heading back West towards Bruma.

Once back there, I went straight for Helvius Cecia's house, where I'd previously met with his imminence. On my way, I passed a beggar who hissed that the Gray Fox was waiting for me. I quickened my pace, and within moments, found myself descending the stairs to the basement of Cecia's home.

He sat just where I'd left him, his cowl ablaze with the light from the burning fire. He watched the flames, but turned to me as I approached. Without a word, I pulled forth the Savilla Stone and handed it to him. Even through the holes in his cowl I could see the desire in his grey eyes. He mumbled something about finally having it again, then dismissed me.

I was assured that my services would be needed again, and that he would send for me when the time was right.

I left perplexed, disappointed by my summary dismissal and the maniacal gleam in the Gray Fox's eyes.

With little to do, I thought I might take Raminus Polus up on his request that I assist Irlav Jarol at the archeological dig at Vahtacen. I rode long and hard from Bruma to Vahtacen. I arrived at the Ayelid ruin, just on the banks of a small lake. I looked upon the door with boredom: these tasks for the mage's guild and grown tiresome. I was sure that I'd have to be reprimanded for my lack of discipline.

I was still disappointed by the Gray Fox not having any more for me. I wanted to sneak, I wanted that thrill of adventure that comes when prison is at risk. Or death...my mind wandered to my contract assignment for the Dark Brotherhood, and when I might accomplish that mission. I yearned for blood and combat, not magic and scholarship.

I stood by that lake just outside the stone door that led into Vahtacen. A breeze stirred the trees above me; I could feel it hot on my skin. I looked to the north, and saw with horror, and, I must admit, perverse delight, that an Oblivion gate had opened some distance away. The sky turned a deep orange, and I saw a Daedroth step forth from the gate. The foul beast sniffed the air, then retreated back within the gate.

Something stirred within me. Perhaps it was my mother's Imperial blood, but whatever it was, I found myself drawing Umbra. I began to run towards the Oblivion gate, pulling my visor down as I went. Those beasts would pay for what they'd done to Cyrodil. The emperor may be dead but the empire shall live on!

With a cry, I plunged into the Oblivion gate.

The Summer solistice lay...wait...is that how you spell soltice? Fuck! Did I spell it wrong again? Hold on, I'll get this straight...

2006-06-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty interesting read. [via Hollywood Elsewhere]

What do we think? Is this going to be good?

Ha.

Yeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best roles for this pair (in no particular order)

Meatballs IV
The Lost Boys
License to Drive
Snowboard Academy
Blown Away
Lucas
and
Goonies

Speaking of which, I believe that it may be time for a brief overview of 80's babes.

Kerri Green

Elizabeth Shue

Phoebe Cates

and, maybe she's batshit crazy these days, but my god was she hot in the 80's...f-that, she's still hot as all bejesus these days,

Winona Ryder

God, and she was so hot in Dracula...

Hmm...er...ah...damnit

2006-06-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

This was over on BoingBoing, and I thoughts it was cool.

It's John Lasseter's student film. You can almost see the genesis of the Pixar logo. I haven't seen Cars yet, but I'm sure it sucks. Let Brad Bird make another film, damnit!!!

We've all been through that mossy valley before, wishing for bright rock and dull sand...

2006-06-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty neat read, if only for a brief, brief introduction to Elizabeth Bishop.

This is a nice trip down memory lane with some cool music. Ahhhh...wasting summer days indoors with these games...no wonder my parents threw me in the car and deposited me at camp for five weeks every summer.

Ya' know, there's few people who have made the leap from the silver screen to various other media (or the other way around) with much success. I refuse to believe (and for that matter, refuse to see) garbage like The Dukes of Hazard, where people who can barely even sing now think they can act. I understand that these stars are simply trying to cash in on their exposure, to create a brand for themselves that can sell on multiple media platforms. I certainly can't blame them for trying, but I can refuse to participate in the viewing of these films or listening to their craptacular music.

The shame of this phenomenon is that those who can actually act or sing get shirked to the wayside or never are allowed to reach their full potential. Elvis Presley, for a brief example, was always depressed about the types of films that he was offered. He, like some historians, felt that he had it in him to do some first rate acting, given the proper material. Alas, his moment never came along, and we were left with a collection of some of the worst movies ever unleashed. And Elvis' film career definitely opened the door to all sorts of exploitive cross-media products. It was the plastic marketed society that people like Walt Disney made so much money on. This continued with the rock n' roll marketing to teenagers and on into the seventies when film marketing became the norm.

Through all of this, there have been some true artists who have been able to rise above it all and produce quality work. I am speaking now of Frank Sinatra. He started off as the 'dream boat' occasional singer for Tommy Dorsey's Band, and as we all know exploded into super-stardom. With this came opportunities to act in films. Granted, he did occasionally dip into ridiculousness in his film career (the Rat Pack movies are a great example), but several of his films were quite good.

Most might say that his work in the original Frankenheimer version of The Manchurain Candidate to be his finest work, but I've always had a soft spot for what he did in The Man with the Golden Arm.

This is a really tight film about addiction to heroin, and IT WAS MADE IN 1955!!! This thing was way before its time in its handling of a serious social ill. Sinatra gives a stunning performance as the seminal character, Frankie Machine. He's trying to go straight, but everything just keeps working against him. The film is far ahead of its time and the emotional tour de force given by Sinatra is nothing short of astounding.

The direction from Otto Preminger is also simply amazing. His work here and in other powerful films such as Anatomy of a Murder and Exodus may have helped change the face of American mainstream cinema in the late 50's and early sixties. He was a wonderful craftsmen and skilled commentator on many of the day's events....

...then I found out today that he played Mr. Freeze on the Batman TV series. In honor of this, I humbly submit a short gallery of his work in that production.

AWESOME!!!!!!!
This site can tell you all about it.

Also, we leave you with a cliff-hanger. There's more of this where the below came from.

Awwwwww....DAMNIT!!! Guess that's what you get when trying to edit a picture at work. We'll work on this, so we can continue with the amazing adventures of Mathy and Allistar Chubbs.

Saturday dawned bright, but the cloud in my soul set me to drink

2006-06-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

So that cosplay girl as Psylocke was freaking the shit out of me and frankly making me a little sick this morning, so she's gone.

In what I think it very exciting news, Jeffrey Wells says he's seen Superman Returns and he really liked it. To quote him about a particular sequence (and he was writing about a 3D IMAX sequence for this quote),

There's an airborne action sequence in particular that delivered, for me, the greatest sensory thrill I've ever experienced from a mainstream movie in my life .

If you ever keep track of Wells, you'd know that while perhaps having a tendency to hyperbolize (is that a word?), he generally dislikes big-budget blockbusters and as been especially hesitant/ cynical about this movie. I very excited. Now what to see this weekend, hmm...

Thursday crept up on me, and I watched as dear friends departed for the isle of Phraxos

2006-06-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

The Aegean Dolphin, queen of the seas of earth

If you ever get the chance, seriously, do not pass up a cruise of the Greek Isles. It's an awesome experience. Almost twelve years ago to the day, I was on the ship above with some of my closest friends. We bounced around all the isles: Rhodes, Mykonos, some others that I don't remember the name of. We stopped in Ephesus, and the whole tour was centered around Athens. It's a whole differenct experience over there, but I suggest anyone with the time and money go for it...just try to avoid Russian gangsters.

That there above is Rhodes...awesome place. Me and Mathy stalked all over that island, munching on gyros and looking at nude sunbathers. We were 14 and life was sweet.

Below is Ephesus, which was apparently extremely important to the development of Christianity in the western world, but no one told us before we got there, and the pre-teen mind (I don't use the word tween so f-off!) tends to think "Awww, a bunch of ruins. We've seen those, where are the Turkish babes?"

Those days are long and gone, now. Maybe someday, when we're all rich and have each conquered our respective professional landscapes, maybe then we could go back and retrace those steps of so long ago, take a leisurely cruise. Let's do it...

Now for other things...

Awesome.

Oh, my god, this is bizarre. I was out having a smoke and reading up on the Infinite Crisis when this aired. When I came back in, my girlfriend was blinking at the TV saying "That was the weirdest thing I've ever seen." She may be right.

Probably dumb, but it's horror, and it's the NYT.

Nice read.

Wednesday, as I took my lunch among the hyacinths, I read from some dusty, ancient tome

2006-06-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

I know no one comes to this site, so I don't quite know why I do this stuff, but anypoop, here's something:

I'm trapped in this unholy place where I'm juggling approximately 10 books, with three main contenders.

What do we think? Which should I finish first?

So what does anybody think?

Also...

Just saw this. Doesn't that just look awful? I rather see the one with the famous people before they were famous.

On Wednesday, I went boating along the Hebrides to pay a visit to my friend, the goat-footed boy

2006-06-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'd guess it was about three or four years ago now (it must be because I was just out of or still in college) when my friend, Mathy, and I found ourselves struggling to stave off boredom one particularly slow afternoon. Most of our friends were at work or out of town, and for a pair of unathletic guys, there is little to do on such a day. We had decided against going to a theater, but we still kinda wanted to see a movie. So Mathy, he turns to me and says:

And away we went, off into the balmy afternoon.

Video Fan is one of those few remaining awesomest places ever in Richmond. Along with Plan 9 and others, it is still independently owned and operated, and stocked. Their collection of Hong Kong films is amazing...so is their collection of gay porn, but that's not for me, and I guess I can respect that there's a place to go for that...

Anypoop, the Video Fan is housed in what must have been a typical Fan home. The carpeted passages and chambers wind through cramped rooms and lead often to dead-ends. There is a dusty smell to the place, but this does not dampen its appeal. I mean, you can rent single discs from the Wong Kar-Wai or Werner Herzog collection here, while picking up one of their dollar rentals, or selecting from the free rentals they offer of local films.

They also have a pretty amazing cult film selection. And while Mathy and I, Master Chubbs, perused the cluttered aisles of that section, we came across what was called "the Citizen Kane of horror movies". We conversed for less than .5 seconds about whether we should rent it or not, and next thing we knew, we were over at Mathy's, popping in The Wicker Man for the first time.

At the time we had no idea what this thing was. Later I found out that the cult phenomenon had really taken hold on the interweb. Needless to say, it's awesome, and I've been mildly obsessed with its awesomeness for the last couple of years.

I posted a link to the trailer for the new version yesterday. I've since watched it, and now have reservations as to what this is going to be like. Clearly much has been changed, from the omission of Lord Summerisle to the move to America. I really don't think that America's scary in the way that Scotland is. We're too knew of a society for all that ancient creepiness. And I know that having set the new version in Maine also suggests a Salem witch connection. I suppose that we could hope that instead the filmmakers will go with a Lovecraftian angle and relate it to some creature beyond space and time...but I doubt it.

Having said all this, and feeling that stir of disappointment (remember when they remade The Fog?), this could be good as just a stupid horror movie romp. I've seen worse (Darknessi), but not many. [ahh, accidentally paraphrasing Dr. Peter Venckman...how pop culture slips subtlely into our reality]

More later...

Barkus! Barkus! Barkus!

2006-06-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally did it. I joined the digital age. Now this video is a little rough as I am new to compression and de-interlacing, but I'll work on it. For now, though, I think this is a very exciting development.

Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

2006-06-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

Suprisingly, there's a rather competent and interesting interview with Alan Moore over on MTV. Here's a nice little excerpt where we find him speaking of the recent V for Vendetta film:

Now, in the film, you've got a sinister group of right-wing figures — not
fascists, but you know that they're bad guys — and what they have done is
manufactured a bio-terror weapon in secret, so that they can fake a massive
terrorist incident to get everybody on their side, so that they can pursue their
right-wing agenda. It's a thwarted and frustrated and perhaps largely impotent
American liberal fantasy of someone with American liberal values [standing up]
against a state run by neo-conservatives — which is not what "V for Vendetta"
was about. It was about fascism, it was about anarchy, it was about [England].
The intent of the film is nothing like the intent of the book as I wrote it. And
if the Wachowski brothers had felt moved to protest the way things were going in
America, then wouldn't it have been more direct to do what I'd done and set a
risky political narrative sometime in the near future that was obviously talking
about the things going on today?

I liked the movie, but that's a hell of a statement that I perhaps in no small way agree with. There's serious, and then there's serious. Here's another nice bit:

One of the things I don't like about film is its incredible immersive quality. It's kind of bullying — it's very big, it's very flashy, it's got a lot of weight and it throws it around almost to the detriment of the rest of our culture. And I have gotten tired of lazy critics who, when they want to insult a film, they'll say it has "comic book characters" or a "comic book plot" — using "comic book" as code for "illiterate."
****
I'm not going to claim all comic books are literate — there's a lot of rubbish out there. But there have been some very literate comic books done over the last 20 years, some marvelous ones. And to actually read a comic, you do have to be able to read, which is not something you can say
about watching a film. So as for which medium is literate, give me comics any day.

Good stuff there. Does anybody think what's wrong with something like Fantastic Four is actually banal source material?

Poor bastard...one of my favorites, AND he wears a fedora and trenchcoat (actually he was originally intended to be the Question, but DC wouldn't allow Moore to use that character at the last moment).

and...

This post is so stupid, I chocked on my Snapple.
This should be good, or maybe just weird, but definitely entertaining...I hope.
Also, because you asked for it (you know who you are)...MORE COSPLAY!!!

Tuesday, we went sailing along the edge of Charybdis, and Rebecca threw pennies in...

2006-06-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

...she made a fleeting wish, but it has yet to come true.

Interesting little piece (commentary to follow) [via Slashdot]
This is also a pretty interesting little article. A bit fluffy, but what do we expect.
Here's a trailer for the new version of the Wicker Man (I can't get the Quicktime to play...bad movie atom, my ass!)
I don't know why you'd spend any time on this. Furthermore, is this really accurate? And of what use? I swear to fucking god that all our dreams and imagination will be left a burnt out husk after all such studies answer all the questions.
I'll pretend to keep track and feel good about myself as a member of the world community by reading this blog (or at least meaning to read it).
Behold!!!

Hey! I thought only Marks & Harrison went for this stuff. P.S. What a sweet job! "When you're injured, [fill in lawfirm] will fight those bastard insurance companies till they bleed money!"

This came from here, which seems to be a pretty cool website. But in truth I found it here.

Okay, real quick cause it's lunchtime, but on that promised commentary above...well, the article may have been a bit bullshit. But I will say that Castlevania:Symphony of the Night is pretty damn cool.

So cool, in fact, that it garners cosplayers!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!!

Perhaps I'm having a moment with all of this...

2006-06-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

It hasn't escaped possibility that I'm developing a "thing" (whatever that means) for retro-super heroes. I've always loved the retro style inherent in Batman and Superman, so this seems to be a natural offshoot of that.

But, infatuation or no, I dare you to tell me the following isn't fucking awesome.

I was also pretty excited about Doctor Occult, an apparently pre-Golden Era hero, though, upon further reading, it seems that he was resurrected by Neil Gaiman in the early nineties, and plays a recurring role in the Hellblazer universe. I do like that he has the help of his faithful butler, Jenkins, though.

And also:

For those interested in a little bit of publishing commentary, here.

Lates, dudes, lates...

Monday, a chill wind came down from the Stutgart

2006-06-05T06:07:00.000-07:00

Here's some neat stuff this morning:

I'll be holding off.
Nice read about a filmmaker when filmmaking may have actually mattered.
You know, even when it's about nothing, this is a great blog.
Also from the NYT is this interesting article.

Also, I've been reading some of the DC Infinite Crisis mess, and while I didn't understand a thing that was going on at first, I do like the big global story archs in the DC Universe. My favorite stuff has been the reintroduction of what were originally Golden Era characters. I love the nostalgic feel to them, and have found a pair of new favorites...

Psycho Pirate!!!

and The Question!!!

(Though, actually, the Question is a Silver Age creation...by the co-creator of Spiderman, Steve Ditko...apparently he expouses an Objectivist world view ie. Ayn Rand)

I'm also really digging the Phantom Stranger...

Bye for now...

Thursday Fun Bag

2006-06-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

I think I'll make a promise to myself and my zero readers that I'll make one of those quicklink post every couple of days, or, if I'm too lazy for all that, we'll try Thursdays. Don't ask me why, it's just good stuff.

And so it begins:

Could someone buy me this for my birthday...it comes out the day before.
This anniversary came and went yesteday, but it bares reading and thinking about...{from BoingBoing}
...
shit...I got lazy...bye for now...

Hmm...ah...erhem...

2006-06-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

Something mildly interesting...

On the Drudge Report yesterday, the following headline was posted:

Scientists Say Arctic Once Was Tropical -- Before Mankind!

While the New York Times article it links to reads:

Studies Portray Tropical Arctic in Distant Past: An analysis suggests that scientists
have underestimated the power of greenhouse gases to warm the Arctic.

Seeminly similar, but undeniably different in emphasis. We have Drudge telling us "C'mon, the Arctic was tropic years ago, before man even had time to pollute it. We couldn't possibly be responsible for gloabl warming." The NYT sub-headline cautions us: "We've known it was bad, but the magnitude with which global warming can affect the planet is beyond anything we've ever guessed."

It was something I happened to notice and find interesting.

(You're probably going to have to register with NYT to read their articles, but it's free and why the hell don't you read the NYT already, you dumbass!)

I mean, if you want examples of stunning journalism and poignant subject matter, behold:

The Great Salamander Crisis !!!!

Ignoring long abscences...

2006-05-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

Entertainment Weekly posted this on their website today. I thought it'd be kinda fun to make some comments on their thoughts (cause they're generally idiots):

25. Whatever. The Matrix sequels were that great. And out of all that was bad or boring, these unoriginal assholes pick the rave sequence...whatever...

...I have no problems with their choices or comments for the next five or so...

19. Bullshit, Nerd in Paradise is awesome and don't let anyone tell you differently...

14. Oh my god what B.S....Conan the Destroyer?!? Look, whatever, the movie may have its problems, but the scene with the mirror monster or when the warlock and the wizard have a duel...oh, pure genius.

12. Fine, Star Wars, fine. I'm tired of this argument...I'll never win, and the fools will all forget.

10. This Jaws movie may be stunningly bad, but it was made over ten years later with a ridiculous cast and probably no budget. Jaws II was the sequel to the then highest grossing filmof all time, and it sucked bad compared to the original. For a sequel to truly suck, you have to really weigh it against the original. While Jaws 3-D may be my second favorite in the series, I can expect a sequel to that film to be pretty bad. After seeing the first Jaws, I should have been legitimately excited to see the further shark hunting adventures of Chief Brody, and that's what they gave us...though it was a poor rehash of the first film. I don't like this choice.

8. Look, this is snobbery. Any movie in which the tough-as-nails character who constantly carries around an electric guitar to prove and display her toughness gets subsequently murdered with said electric guitar is okay in my book. And as to their smug comments about continutity and mythology, it freaking Friday the 13th part 8. The first was thrown together as an independent horror film by guys with dreams and no money. Sure, EW with the backing of Time Warner has plenty of money to make such classics as last years remake of the House of Wax or the recent shitfest that was Posideon, but come on EW...I'd rather watch this that half the crap released these days.

6. Now they're starting to piss me off. There is nothing wrong with Weekend at Bernies II! The first wasn't that great and if you actually go back and watch it, there is such nuance and subtlety underlying the explicit narrative that one has to marvel at it. Besides any film where a character screams "Sleep with the fishies, you zombie bastard!" is just fine in my book.

5. Ok, nothing wrong with that being on there...

3. I'm not going to try to argue with the ridiculous that they expouse in this entry. But I will say "Lep in the Hood, up to no good." So right...

Ehh, well, that seems to be the last one worth noting. Terrible list, not funny in the slightest. I'll work on my own for later.

2006-05-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

I have been gone for far too long. Cobwebs hang off this website, accusing me of neglect.

So we, once again, begin again...

E3 is upon the world...

...Mass Effect is awesome, but briefly shown.

....aw shit, I gotta go.

I'll be back

Review of the Hills have Eyes

2006-03-20T13:31:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody, Allister here. I was going to put up a review of The Hills Have Eyes, but I got an email from an old friend who said he had whipped one together. It's a little sparse, but I didn't have to do anything, so I'm happy.

The Hills have Eyes
by the One in the Basement

Alexandre Aja’s new take on the Wes Craven original does not fall into the trap established by other remakes of the genre. While there is little plot or, acually, anything to this film, I found it to be a pleasant diversion from the ordinary genre conceits of recent years.

Certainly, we have been here before. A family strays off the beaten path, are lead even farther so, and, having journeyed too far into the wilderness, are punished with death and horror. A tale as old as fairy tales, warning us from the expansive empty places of the world. What terror may lurk in the hills…stay in the city boys and girls, where you’ll always have the reassuring bars of reception on your cell phone to comfort you against the dark night of the world.

And this is why we come back to the horror genre again and again. Science fiction offers us hope for the future, realism/documentary serve as calls to action, forcing us to feel better about ourselves from having served witness to the events. Horror tells us that just on the edge of this pleasant reality we have all formed for ourselves lies something sinister and dark that eskews explanation. Beyond this fringe we may face unmentionable horror, and even reevaluate ourselves.

Perhaps we may even take up an axe and fight back.

The Hills Have Eyes continues what I see as a growing movement in the horror genre. I have not formulated the proper, -ition to describe it, but I think of Sergio Leone. I think of stark vision of Clint Eastwood with sweeping Morricione and blasted landscapes. It is the honor and duty of bleakness. When you have been pushed to the wall, left in a puddle of your own blood, with some mutated deviant growling above you, you do not cry and scream. You kill him, and you kill whatever family he had.

There was a little of this in the recent Hostel, and I’d be curious to see what other films will use this approach. Is this a movement, or just an anomaly? The Saw films have been the highest grossing horror films of the last several years, yet in each of these films, a twist is relied on to achieve an unhappy ending.

So are we nihilistic and defeatist, or in the post-911 world, are we sick of taking it? I don’t know…but I liked this.

(3 skulls out of 4)

Ok...well, we'll see how that does, and get back to him. I've got to do a V for Vendetta review soon, so I'll be back later.

A little this, a lot of that

2006-03-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

I've been gone for a week for absolutely no reason and will come back with some links...

There's this artcile on NYTimes about animation. I don't know if he's nailed the situation on the head here. Also, he seems to mis-remember moments in the films he discusses, which makes for generally poor film commentary. I don't disagree with him. If any of you are asked if you would like to see Chicken Little or not, break the thumbs of the person asking, and while he or she screams, find that rocket pack you stashed in the bushes and race for Canada...it's really a miserable piece of trash. But the problem is that all the films he discusses are CG animation, a process which has become easier and cheaper in the last several years. A studio just farms out the animation, which, in general, is absolutely mundane and lackluster. Some exec hires a writer to do a script, which several other writers later take turns at making it more "in your face" and "edgy", more like Shrek. You can almost hear them..."Kids these days, they like the fast paced stuff, we've gotta be moving constantly. Get a motormouth comedian...we're going to let him run his mouth unscripted, and then we'll have those computer nerds slap together some animation to make it all work."

Ok, I saw several movies over the weekend, and am going to post reviews of them, I promise. Later, though...

The end of the stupid

2006-03-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

From one of the most poignant and interesting social commentators of our time...his films and plays force us to question our own places in this society, in this world.

And when commenting on Oscar season, he gave us this.

Wow, that just says it all...

...

...dumbass...that's all you could come up with. That is taking up valuable server space somewhere.

It comes from the Huffington Post.

Commentary on The Conversation

2006-03-09T07:58:00.000-08:00

I just stumbled on this, and I have to say that I found it one of the most inane reads of the day. I mean really, what is the point of writing an article about this? Check out this quote:

Whether or not Coppola intended Harry to be an onscreen placeholder for Nixon, another paranoiac, it is difficult to ignore the resemblance between the two. Ultimately, though, Harry is a sympathetic character, a decent man unraveling in insecurity.

He tells us that it is difficult not to notice the similarities between Harry Caul and Richard Nixon. The next sentence says that, well, actually they are dissimilar because Harry is a decent guy. Which tells us Nixon isn't, which is a fine thing to think, I won't argue here. Yet I can't understand why you would introduce the concept of Nixon / Caul and offer no supporting evidence save, well, when you watched the movie that's what you thought.

The piece seems to be an oblique potshot at the Bush Administration's position on domestic wiretapping, all the while hinting at the similarities between the Bush administration and the Nixon administration, and you remember, don't you, you're supposed to hate Nixon.

Oh, and we also have this quote:

Viewed today, the popular conspiracy movies of the 1970s, The Conversation especially, look strikingly optimistic beneath their cynicism.

Attention, everybody! That means the world is a far bleaker place now than it was in the early to mid-seventies. Who's to argue?...this is such a stupid piece of ass article. It's sad that a good movie like The Conversation has to get dragged out of obscurity not for its artistic merits but because Benjamin Strong thinks he can use it to draw some off-hand, particularly ungrounded parallels between the political climate then, and now. Let's see...846 words in the article...I hope this guy was trying to make a deadline or something, or needed to make a car payment, because if this is what he passes off for journalism, sweet jesus...

"Then came the part that makes the news what it is today: taking pictures of the body."
- Karl Kolchak

By the way, I'll get some stuff up later to continue the film preview.

Coming up this year

2006-03-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

March drifts on, ever pushing closer towards spring. The ice rivers have begun to groan, and soon the running water will feed the streams. Gentle buds will appear on the outstretched fingers of oaks and dogwoods, and color will return to a dull world. The animals, so long absent, will begin there cautious migration back into the wilderness. Workers, having spent the long, dark winter with their heads down against the cold, will once again look up, having scented the fresh air blown up from the South.

And so, too, will the time come to head back to the movie theater. Or so the movie studios hope.

I've gone ahead and compiled a list of what I'm looking forward to seeing in the months to come. This is certainly not a complete list (it tends to skew towards the bigger releases), but it will suffice for the moment.

No particular order...well, hold on...ok, I'll do it by release date.

The Hills Have Eyes (March 10)
I never saw Haute Tension but I know decent gore when I see it. Who am I kidding anyways? I saw feardot.com on opening day, I'll see this.

Though the original is kinda crappy, but so are all of Wes Craven's supposed classics...

V for Vendetta (March 17)
Haven't read the graphic novel, I know little about it save what Jeffrey Wells writes of it, but I'm still excited. Here's hoping its better than Constantine, the movie I was excited about this same time last year.

Stay Alive (March 24)

Because it looks absolutely retarded, and it was a trailer in front of the best stupid movie I saw all year, Final Destination 3.

A Scanner Darkly (March 31)

I can't remember what I thought of Linklater's Waking Life, but the animation was cool. Perhaps this 'story' will better serve the medium. Though, I can never shake my overall aversion to Woody Harrelson. Why can't I ever like him? Something about him...I saw Heathers a couple times recently and I am really excited to welcome back one of those most important people to the development of my tastes in women, Ms. Ryder.

Slither (March 31)

Against all better judgement and because it has Fillion in it, I'll see this.

Actually, scratch that...I'll definitely see this. Elizabeth Banks is in it, whom I have a crush on. And perhaps it'll be a good horror comedy type thing. There ain't nothing wrong with laughing mixed with screaming, or at least "Ewwwing".

Drawing Restraint 9 (March 31 - though this'll never come out in Richmond)

A new Matthew Barney film starring him and Bjork on a Japanese whaling vessel...let's see it!

Scary Movie 4 (April14)

I'm not going to talk about it...no need. I'll just see it. Guaranteed good morning after hangover movie.

The Notorious Bettie Page (April 14)

I like the other movies by Mary Harron, so I'll give this a try. Though, let's see, if it's scheduled for a limited release on April 14th that should put it in Richmond theaters around, oh, say September 22.

Silent Hill (April 21)

The games scare the shit out of me, and if this is remotely as good as the trailer looks, then it will be well worth seeing. By me that is, I don't know about you. You probably weren't excited for Doom.

Flight 93 (April 28)

This could perhaps be a sleeper big-time hit. I haven't seen anything by Greengrass, and do not know how he will handle this. But let me tell you, this could explode. I mean Passion of the Christ style. If the hulking mass of the red states (I fucking hate using that term, but idiots have done this to me...for christ sakes we have boiled down political discourse in this country to what CNN's graphic artist decides to put up on the screen?!? And another thing...if I hear one more fucker talk about someone having "drunk the Kool Aid", I swear to God, there will be fiery retribution!!!) wakes up and sees this, it could be very, very big. Done well, it could be immune to critics. I will be very curious to see how this one plays out.

Art School Confidential (April 28)

I'll say that I am hesitantly hopeful about this one. I heard a couple early badness, so we'll see. I also did not love Ghost World.

Mission Impossible III (May 5)

Everything but the star makes this film look pretty great. I have faith in the director (though his freaking show officially pisses me off now) and the supporting cast is great. It's just that upper-level Thetan that gets me annoyed. Perhaps he won't ruin this one. His ego in the production clearly hampered the last film in this series, but we will see.

An American Haunting (May 5)

You know this looks like it could be okay and creepy, but...the director of Dungeons & Dragons! We'll be cautious.

Poseidon (May 12)

I don't care about this but I can feel my friend Paul's anticipation. He likes the disaster movies.

The Da Vinci Code (May 19)

I'll see it, but do we have to dumb down that book for a movie. It was pretty dumb to begin with.

X-Men 3 (May 26)

I know Ratner's going to fuck it up. And I know I'm going to see it. Would that it doesn't make me throw Gummy Bears at the screen in anger, and at least leave me feeling ok about the last two hours of my life.

Sigh...

Nacho Libre (June 2)

I will see this. That is all.

Okay...I gotta go home. I'm off to finally see Brokeback Mountain. I will continue this tomorrow, with any luck.

Missed the show, but this is funny as poop

2006-03-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

As seen on Break.com

Because the Oscars won't go away...

2006-03-07T07:11:00.000-08:00

From a link over at Drudge comes this piece by Roger Ebert.

I've got a date with my sister to see Brokeback Mountain tonight, so I will soon be able to make a better call on this. Nevertheless, I take issue with the following portion of Ebert's article.

Were supporters of "Brokeback" homophobic in championing the cowboys over what Oscarcast host Jon Stewart called the "effete New York intellectual"? Of course not. Brokeback Mountain was simply a better movie than Capote. And Crash was better than Brokeback Mountain, although they were both among the best films of the year. That is a matter of opinion.

I'm really not sure what he's talking about here. Was there an implication that because a movie is the best film of the year, it will therefore be rewarded with the Academy Award for Best Film of the Year? Uh...right, well, it's very pretty to think so, but Mr. Ebert, you of all people should know that Best Film of the Year is not given to the best film of the year. I don't need to bring up tired arguements from the past ("Oh, wasn't The Greatest Show on Earth set up as a tax-shelter?")

Our dear friend Wikipedia has helped us with a description of what constitutes a film worthy of nomination.

Today, according to Rules 2 and 3 of the official Academy Awards Rules, a film has to open in the previous calendar year (from midnight January 1 to midnight December 31) in Los Angeles County,
California, to qualify. Rule 2 states that a film must be "feature-length" (defined as 40 minutes) to qualify for an award (except for Short Subject awards, of course). It must also exist either on a 35mm or 70mm film print OR on a 24fps or 48fps progressive scan digital film print with a native resolution no lower than 1280x1024.

Now, that seems all very inclusive and well-and-good, but is there a new age dawning? I don't refer to what some have called the "Little Movie Oscars" from this past year, where the selections were almost all independents that made little money. Nor do I refer to the leftover concepts of the "Indie" movement. That ship has sailed. Miramax and the tone exuded by its films in the early 90's has been usurped (though was it ever that good to begin with). An independent film these days just refers to financing. When Spielberg makes Munich and the guy who did the Hulk makes a gay cowboy movie (oh, how many times have those words been used together in the last year?), the independents' hold on cutting edge subject matter has gone out the window. And while I write this, we can all be sure that much of Hollywood has become as safe as ever, relying on sequels and remakes. These arguments have been thrown back and forth ad nauseum, and I don't wish to dwell in the squalor of explanations for box office downturns.

Let's use an example: a guy takes an album gods of rock and roll, mixes it together with an album by a god of the hip hop world, and we all get The Grey Album. Everyone talks about it, those who revile hip hop tend to groove to it...it becomes a phenomenon. Now, DJ Danger Mouse took a lot of heat from EMI and there was a general consternation in the recording world over this. The album will never be lauded by the industry...it's very nature conteracts the bottom line profit margin (or so they think).

So it is with the Academy Awards. It's not about Best Film of the year. That could very well be sitting in some guys basement, hauled out on rare occasions to stun and mesmerize his closest friends and family. You can go to Walmart and buy a digital camera, buy a Dell for half a grand, get some cheapie film editing software and you have your own digital film. Sure, the academy does have that resolution guideline, which I'm sure will be amended once prices begin to fall on the high end digital video cameras, but the world of filmmaking is no longer closed off to the world. Hell, from what I've heard with the amount of screeners sent off for Crash for this year's awards, and with the anecdotal fact that only 700 people need to select your film for best picture...let's see, we'll send out two times that many DVD's just to be sure...oh, nevermind! Here's a deal...3000 DVD's for $ .59 a piece. Let's pull out the calculator...that's $1,770 for DVD's. I'm going to imagine that we'll want to swank up the cases, so let's double that number. Ok, we're at $3,540. Well, the digital video we shot...we bought tapes at Costco, 6 for $25 dollars, representing 6 hours of footage. For a two hour...no, we'll just do an hour and a half so people don't get bored...we should probably buy 7 or 8 of those, so...$200 for film stock. We already have a camera, but if we didn't, we'd buy a new HD, probably about $5,000. We need some microphones and DAT equipment, all told, and completely on the cheap will cost us $2000. Now, we'll cast this sucker with unknowns, light it with stuff we find from Lowe's ($500). We'll have a tight schedule...let's say 2 weeks. Now we'll need to feed people, so...Costco again and using a die-hard friend for cooking...I think we could do this for about $700, not including beer and cigarettes, which are a must on a no-budget indie. The crew will be excited amateurs, so no union fees, or prices. Wait...do we have to have a union picture to make it to the Academy awards? Yes? Crap...well, so maybe this won't work...we were only up to $11,940 to shoot the thing and make DVD's (we've got a Mac and Final Cut Pro so we're cool on the editing...we'll do it ourselves...oh, and we'll figure out some theater in LA to open it in...okay, so probably another $5000 dollars).

Well, in the end, what Ebert means by Best Picture is that Crash is the best film with actors we know, released by a studio, that had unions and craft services, and showed in LA...because, we all know that what's the best for LA has got to be the best for the rest of the world, right?

This afternoon, I'll put something up about my most anticipated big movies of the year.

And for something absolutely and completely different, this is a great read.

I get to pick some movies, too...

2006-03-06T12:59:00.000-08:00

I know every other jerk in the world released an end-of-the-year best and worst list back around January 1, but since the AMPAS can give their awards now, so will I.

First, a little commentary on the Oscars. I frankly did not see a lot of the movies that I should have last year, but Richmond has been a little weak on art/independent films this last year. The Westhampton has either had hits that stay on for weeks, or films that leave within five days of release (the management's insistence on not having a late showing during the week has severely hampered my ability to catch these films...I was so excited for Cache, but that was gone in an instant), or the independents have been unceremoniously dumped to the West Tower or Chesterfield Town Center, two theaters where films go to die un-seen deaths.

My girlfriend saw Brokeback Mountain with some friends, so I lost my movie buddy. I'm going to see it, I promise. No amount of red state-ness has gone into my failure to see this film. I'm just lazy, that's all.

Ok...back on topic...so watching the Oscars was a bit underwhelming. I had invested little personally into any of the films nominated for best picture. My choices, as you'll read below, were nowhere to be seen. Well, I didn't see Good Night and Good Luck either, and Capote was fine, but no great shakes as far as I was concerned. I definitely wanted to read the book afterwards, but that was about it.

When Crash came out, no one around here was interested. I was bored one night, and convinced Leigh to come see it. When were in a mixed theater, and the audience reacted strongly to the film. Nervous twitters, and "Oh, damn!"'s, red-faced females at the end and patrons blinking against the bright lobby lights all made the experience very interesting. But I didn't think there was much to it. It was an interesting little movie, and that was as much attention I paid it.

I assumed that Brokeback would win, but...

"I can't believe those fuckers didn't give us the award..."

So, that was boring, and now on to my picks for last year.

Award: Depressed Me more than Any Other Movie

And this one goes to The Constant Gardener. I have no idea why this film was more or less ignored in terms of Oscar buzz. So is the Academy saying that by voting for Crash to be best picture, it has social compassion and understanding. Well, the pandering, good feeling social observation offered in Crash must make Academy voters ultimately feel good about themselves. No one could feel good about themselves after watching Fernado Mierelles' film. This is a problem that exists...Africa...and we should be depressed about it. This film offers us no solace, save for in our own relationships with individuals, which, as Ralph Fiennes' character finds out, can be illusory at best (cf. the end). This may have been my favorite, best movie of the year.

Award: Well, I was wrong about that one

When I first saw the preview of this, I believe I audibly groaned. Ron Howard was making a boxing movie, set in the depression, called Cinderella Man. The music, the beats of the trailer, just made me fear for the most sickening of sap-fests. When it came out (oh, I had no intention of seeing it), I cackled to myself as I tracked its opening weekend numbers. Then when I saw that its legs weren't strong enough, I decided that, in fact, the world was an okay place where people wouldn't line up to hand out cash for trash (this vain and silly belief was destroyed countless times through the summer of 2005).

Weeks melted into months, and the seasons came and went. And on one particularly chilly evening I found myself bored and, it being a Tuesday, I headed to Target to see what new releases were on sale. And there it was, in its paper slipcase, staring up at me from the rack, and I, against the judgement of my jaded self over a year earlier, picked it up and took it to the register.

On the way home I bought a bottle of wine (a big one). My girlfriend had never even heard of it, but I assured her that we should watch it.

Two hours later (and I don't deny the wine's assistance in this) we were both cheering at the television, egging on J.J. Braddock during his final fight. And we screamed with joy when he won. I couldn't believe how into it I got! What master manipulation! What skill! I'm not sure if I was wrong when I saw that trailer for the first time (about the schmaltz, that is) but damned if Howard didn't get his hooks in me with that one. Definitely worth a watch, and one of the best, classic movies of the year. If this thing had lit up the box office, there's no way it would not have been nominated for best picture.

Award: Not the best movie, but the best Suprise in a long time

The Matador is not included on this list because I think it was one of the best films of the last year. But it was pretty fcking good, and a great suprise for one of my weekly Saturday trips to the movies with my sister (other titles have included Date Movie and The Fog). I thoroughly enjoyed this film, and found it to be refreshingly adult in tone. I'd recommend it.

I've gotta go, but I've got a superficial most anticipated of the rest of 2006 coming soon.

For the zero readers that frequent this site...

2006-03-02T06:16:00.000-08:00

The promised continuation of "These Things I know to be True: The Cultural Wisdom of a Titan among Men" by myself.

Excerpted as follows:

Alfred Hitchcock films are almost all good...personal favorites...hmm...perhaps Vertigo, perhaps North by Northwest. Strangers on a Train, Shadow of a Doubt...Notorious.

Orson Welles is a great and powerful man. The entire breadth of his catalogue should be celebrated and worshipped...well, most of it.

Friday the 13th movies are far better than Nightmare on Elm Street movies. If you don't believe me on this, go back and watch them...I am right.

Billy Wilder movies don't always do it for me.

Sidney Lumet's book Making Movies is better than some of his films, but he loves talking about himself. I am not interested in seeing his new film because of the following:

There are things on this planet that hold true despite the ebb and flow of sensibility. Among these are the fact that Scarface is not a great film, though popular idiocy holds it as so. I don't even like it as camp...well, maybe as camp.

Along with this goes the fact that Al Pacino is too theatrical of an actor for the screen, and I feel that it is a shame that more people do not find fault with his portrayals.

There is nothing wrong with the original Die Hard.

Nor the original Lethal Weapon (though the barbarians are at the gates on this one's acceptability).

Superman II is better than Superman I, and Supergirl kept me warm during the cold nights of my youth.

Helen Slater was also hot in The Secret of My Success, which isn't as good as Loverboy, which is equally as good as Can't buy me love and Meatballs 3.

Yes...I have a man-crush...but how could you not?

More later...

Beware, humans! We shall come for you, bringing death from the sky!

2006-03-02T06:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but I cannot make myself scared about the coming bird flu. Drudge runs articles on it nearly every day, but I can't bring myself to get worried.

And this picture is awesome...if this bird flu scare reaches SARS-like levels, could somebody please do an updated version of The Birds. New 'story', though the older one doesn't have much of one.

This makes me laugh everytime...

2006-03-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

...and I don't have anything against Tom Cruise, save that my girl friend hates him (that Matt Lauer interview where he claimed that only the golden scarab could fix the mentally insane, not medicine, solidified her position).

Oh, I forgot...

2006-02-17T06:26:00.000-08:00

It looks like weeks ago I promised a Hostel review...

Well, it was fine and thrilling.

Two things happened that I've never experienced going to a movie theater.

1. The ticket taker warned me about the content.
2. A gentleman several rows in front of me leapt from his seat and yelled "Get that bitch!"

I mean, I'm such a loser that I saw Cheaper by the Dozen in the theater. So anything mildly exciting and diverting is just great for me. Whether I thought Hostel was a "good" movie, or just enjoyed watching it, I don't know.

But, then again, I was freakishly entertained by Firewall, so who knows...

For the record (as to my tastes in movies):

Evil Dead movies are good
Star Wars movies are half good
Indiana Jones movies are all good, but I like Temple of Doom the best
I'm not sure whether Diamonds are Forever or The World is not Enough is the worst Bond movie
(Never Say Never Again is not that bad; F - you if you don't like Octopussy and A View to a Kill)
I loved the first Lord of the Rings, hated the second, liked the third the first time I saw it, but repeated viewings cause the film's shine to dull.
I like Beyond the Thunderdome better than the others.
New Wave movies make me feel warm inside.
Speilberg movies used to, but I think I'm on to his tricks.
Godfather I is better than II, and you are stupid and wrong not to think this.
Singing in the Rain is the best musical of all time, and no I am not whiff.
Conan movies are good, but the music is better.
H.P. Lovecraft scares the crap out of me and I am a sucker for any horror film purportedly based on his work...
...which brings me to the fact that I have a great respect for John Carpentar's work in the genre, especially this, but I wish he could just turn the corner and enter the realm of greatness (the closest he ever got to producing a coherent feeling in any of his films was in The Thing, and Escape from New York.)
I really want to see Silent Hill.
As well as Superman Returns.
I'm not sure what else I should be excited about...
Batman Begins ain't that great.
Nor was King Kong (but you all knew that)
The Oscar line-up is mildly boring, and no I haven't had time to see Brokeback Mountain yet.
I enjoyed The New World, which I worked on, but am sad that it didn't do better...f-ing Colin Farrel and drug rehab.
Krull is one of the most defining movies of my youth.
I don't really care for the nostalgic, campy appreciation of Planet of the Apes...go with Omega Man or Soylent Green if you want that.
I generally think I like anime, but rarely enjoy watching it that much.
Lost jumped the shark by me not being able to pay attention to that crap anymore...it ain't going to be that good people...whatever the revelation, most anyone out there has come up with something more mind-blowing that when you find out what the island is, you will be disappointed.

Furthermore...well, maybe I'll continue this later.

About Bond...

2006-02-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

So...I was rather fed up with the recent iterations of the Bond series. Die Another Day was one of the most sickeningly awful films I've had the pleasure to see in the theater. It suffered from what many blockbusters exhibit these days...a total sense of divorce from all reality. And while I certainly don't mind this sort of flight of fantasy, as it were, there are times when I fell myself ripped out of the moving watching experience by the total unbelievability of the action. And this is from someone who regularly is called upon to defend fantasy films. Yet in DAD and TWINE, the fantasy world became just a little too unreal. I mean for the character of Renard, wtf...okay, I'm going to save the mind-numbing exercise of recalling plot points from this film.

The point of this whole thing is why the F__k are Neal Purvis and Robert Wade in charge of the writing of the upcoming Casino Royale! These f'er's are responsible for this, and this, which I like for making fun of the then-current style of the Bond series...a style which these f'ers developed.

How old is Barbara Brocoli? How old is she...checking...shit...well, it looks like we're stuck with her for a while...damn.

Well, they just cast Eva Green and some Nordic dude in the new film. And Jefferey Wright, who, for whatever reason, have never seen in the roles that everyone says he's great in (Basquiat, etc.)

But we all know that his Felix Leiter won't hold a candle to his.

2006-01-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Snoozer Bowl, man...

2006-01-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

So if any of you jerks are actually going to root for the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, God have mercy on your black souls. Go Steelers! Thank god I have a fondu party (that's right...fondu) to go to that will distract me from the general suckage that will be on display. I'll probably burn my eyes out with molten swiss cheese if Aerosmith plays the half-time show. I'll say it once again, the more you like Aerosmith, the dumber you are!

I'll review Hostel later.

Mid-century advertising art

2006-01-18T11:46:00.000-08:00

Boing-boing had a link to a site called Ephemera now, that had some really cool stuff. Here are some of my favorites.

OMFG! Don't let that thing lick me!

2006-01-10T06:13:00.000-08:00

From Yahoo News:

2006-01-09T13:59:00.000-08:00

Well, crap...

2006-01-05T08:14:00.000-08:00

so this hairy, occasionally bearded, frequently smelly jerk from the west coast has discovered my craptastic blog. There is a link from his blog to this one, which would bother me if I thought anyone ever went to his website (heh!). Well, the thing is this site looks like complete ass right now. I messed with the blogger template, but, having absolutely no understanding of html, I have ended up with a bigger mess than I thought possible. Some of the stuff doesn't make sense (how many references to an Erich von Stroiheim film can one crappy blog have?), mainly because I was pasting internet pictures from google into the html to see what happened...then I was too lazy to fix it...but I'll work on it. I stumbled on to some CSS help sites that may get me through this, at which point maybe this will be a fully functional blog of some sort.

Until then...

Love and kisses,

Signed,

Oh, and click here for that other schmuck's blog.

The greatest robots of all time!!!

2006-01-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

Wired has got a cool little list of the greatest robots ever. Very neat. Here are a few of my favorites.

...last but certainly not least is Robo-Einstein!

uh......

2006-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

So, this sign warns you about hitting your head on...this sign...wow...where's Mr. Kafka? He'll want to see this.

Thank you much to the always amazing Boing-Boing for posting a link to this originally.

And this is where it came from originally.

YEAH!!!

2005-12-30T08:07:00.001-08:00

End of the year is coming up, so I think I'll do an end of the year something or other...like a list or whatever. We could do movies I liked, we will not be doing music because I've hardly bought a damn thing this year that killed me (for chrissakes if you still do not have at least 3 copies of the Arcade Fire's Funeral -the other two copies having been scorched by the laser from being played so much - just go to the store now and get it!). I could do top things that were cool or annoying this last year.

And I would love to do a worst of everything.

I can do this...I'm big...

Developing...

YEAH!!!

2005-12-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

This is pretty cute...

2005-12-29T06:05:00.000-08:00

As always, I found this cute little thing on Boing-Boing:

Bereaved by the forces of nature and discovered by wildlife rangers near certain death in the Indian Ocean off Malindi, the one-year-old male hippo calf dubbed Owen was on 27 December 2004 placed in Haller Park, a wildlife sanctuary in the coastal city of Mombassa, Kenya.As soon as he was placed in his enclosure, the orphaned youngster immediately ran to the giant tortoise also housed in that space. The tortoise, named Mzee (Swahili for "old man") and estimated to be between 100 and 130 years old, was not immediately taken with the brash newcomer — he turned and hissed, forcing the hippo to back away. Yet Owen persisted in following the tortoise around the park (and even into a pool), and within days the pair had forged a friendship, eating and sleeping together. Owen has even been seen to lick the tortoise, whom he regards as his new mother. (Wildlife workers speculated that Owen may have been attracted to Mzee as a parental figure because the tortoise's shape and color are similar to those of an adult hippopotamus.)

Weird...

2005-12-23T08:17:00.000-08:00

I'm a...kinda disturbed by this...

It's from the AP news, and you can read the article here.

But I would remiss if I didn't acknowledge the link from Boing-Boing, where I first laid eyes on this horror...

...I mean, please tell me this is a random mutation...I thought the Eighties were all about toxic contamination, not the naughts...

oH aNd bY the% wya*7...

2005-12-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

i complet*ley *9(know tthayt @this sit)e's got ssomei problllems ~rig8tht now... iwll fix

...like a bubbling stream, the reviews flow forth

2005-12-23T06:22:00.000-08:00

I hope all the reviews are not like this. Though I enjoyed reading it, Ms. Dargis paid little to no attention to the film, but rather directed all of her attention to the history being portrayed...

See it here.

I saw this last night at a special cast and crew screening, and will try to get a review up later today.

The Heart of Darkness missing from King Kong

2005-12-22T07:46:00.000-08:00

King Kong did not do so well at the box office, but frankly, who has time? I mean, with a week and a half before Christmas, who the hell can afford to spend 3+ hours in the theater. That said, I liked it, did not love it. I saw it opening night with a pair of old film buddies. They both loved it, or at least liked it better than me. And neither of them had seen the previous version. Which I think highlighted, for me, one of the failings of the film.
All the stuff with Ann Darrow and Kong "falling" in like with each other is fine, and sure some of the moments are tender as they can be. But the central thing that perhaps Peter Jackson forgot after having revered Kong so long is that, well, he is a monster. The new film seems to have forgotten this. I mean, the damn thing on the tree bridge? He killed like ten people, who were only there to rescue Ann. I think Petey's liked Kong from the original, in the same way that everyone likes Darth Vader (with a helmet on and not screaming "Nooooooooooo!!!"): they like the bad guy in him. The root against the planes at the end, not because, well, Kong was just misunderstood, but because they frankly want to see Kong mess up some more shit in NYC, because, love story or no, the whole idea of the King Kong movies is that he is a big hulking monster that breaks things and leaves lives and landscapes broken in his wake. There is a vicarious thrill to Kong the creature, an end-of-the-world, nothing will ever be the same again feeling. He is the primal force of nature unleashed upon humanities great achievements (the Empire State Building), and the coming together of the two shows us who has the upper hand...Kong ravages the city and flees to the greatest achievement therein.

But the biplanes assure us that Kong can be tamed, nature can be thwarted in its destructive power. The ending of the original Kong has the creature falling to his death. Denham is not blamed and gives the famous send off to the "beast". The world went astray for a while, but everything will be fine now. This is the typical ending for a horror movie, and yes, people would have been horrified when they first watched it. Examine the Universal pictures horror films or the Hammer horror films. All end with the chaos of the world being set aright. The audience is eased out of the film so that they may return pleasantly to their daily lives. Not until the 60's did the mainstream horror film begin to understand its capibilities for truly disturbing their audiences (cf. Night of the Living Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, even non-horror films like Seconds by John Frankenheimer).

But Kong reassures us, as it did in the thirties so it does now. There are no huge moral quandries established in the film. Kong dies, but would anyone think that Ann and Kong's love should have blossomed...we all know how messy that would have gotten. If Jackson had any balls, King Kong would have won in the end. The credits would have rolled as he lorded over a sub-servient New York city, smoke drifting into the twilight sky from the burning buildings that light the eternal night of Kong. Ann would be naked and carressing the beast that she now worships, covered in the soot and ash that floats up from the burnt city, looking just like one of the 'natives' back on Skull Island. Because as the film tells us, to love Kong is to fear him. It is to give up our civilizing tendencies. Don't be fooled by the skulls of Kong's forebears and think that hints at any familial relationship, any civilizing force in Kong's life. Those skulls were put there because there will be more Kongs in the sequel and they wanted to establish the fact. Kong is a force of nature. We first see him moving throught the trees, but what we really see is the trees moving. He is the jungle. He is the antithesis of everything that makes us humans. It is no accident that he is a gorilla, from the same genetic pool as humans. Kong is a monster, the Heart of Darkness, that lurking hidden thing that haunts our dreams with every creak of a floor board and every scrape of a bare branch on our bedroom window. Jackson tries to make us feel sorry for Kong, but he has already established that he is the enemy, the nightmare in the jungle that turns men into cackling shadows that worship a force of nature, while keeping a wall up between themselves and it.

Jackson should have made this a monster movie, not a movie about a misunderstood, gigantic ape.

Mad Max Returns!

2005-12-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I can't watch the preview because me and quicktime are having a fight these days over them trying to tell me I need the latest version and all this and that, but I'll get those bastards someday, f'ers...

But, I find it hard not to be intrigued by the idea of this film...though I really have no idea what exactly it is about. For a long time, since I read William Carlos Williams In the American Grain I've really been hoping that someone would do an awesome film about Cortez and Montezuma...I'm pretty sure that this movie won't be that, and I have little faith in that reported Spainish production of a Cortez bio pick...Oh, yes, I remember the glorious year of 1992, and what films about Columbus were unleashed on us, the poor sap American people. I saw one of those Columbus movies when me and my family were spending a week at Virginia Beach. As usual on such vacations, it rained in the middle of the week, and we took refuge at the movie theater at Lynnhaven mall. As my parents took us to see the Columbus movie (it must have been the cleverly titled 1492), I remember walking mouth agape through the lobby of the theater. They had decorated it like a graveyard, complete with skeletons lunging forth from open caskets and costumed employees (which, well, I've worked in a theater in my life, and I really can't imagine a costumed tour of duty being that awesome). What movie, you may ask, could garner such excitement and promotional publicity? Yes, kids, it was that great, goliath of a box office, Summer of '92 smash hit......Pet Sematery 2...

Here's the link for the Mel Gibson flick...

http://www.apple.com/trailers/touchstone/apocalypto/

...oh, and I'll give some stories about movie theater work later...

I agree, A.O. Scott, I agree...

2005-12-21T12:03:00.000-08:00

Read this, monkeys...he's got a wonderful point here, and I so agree about Alexander

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/18/movies/18scot.html

Let's see about this...

2005-10-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

Check it...

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

...all the way to the top!!!

Edit: Now that is the shit. All of that and my blog isn't worth anything. Well...how do you get your blog to show up on google, is what I'm curious about.

Buying the virtual world

2005-08-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

There was a really great article on the New York Times about the emerging art form of "machinima", the most famous of which is the Halo-generated, hilarious series "Red vs. Blue".
The article is really interesting, and I whole-heartedly recommend it. You can read it here [note: a free registration may be required].

ALSO - They mentioned a site called Turbo Squid on which you can purchase objects and textures for video game development or set pieces or dressing for your very own machinima. Check it out.

Tom Cruise works the docks...

2005-06-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

Saw War of the Worlds last night, and I'll go ahead and say that I enjoyed it. At some midpoint, after having inhaled approximately 64oz. of diet cola (it's hotter'n hell here), I surmised that a slow portion of the film was descending upon us, and I took the moment to relieve myself in the men's room. Upon being in the hallway, I noticed that I had been fully ripped out of my own reality by this movie. As I blinked in the harsh lights of the lobby, I knew that Spielberg's aliens had me in their grips. I ran back to my seat, trampling a gang of tweens on their way to see Herbie or some other trash.

I hunkered back down in my seat, and, for the most part, was able to slip right back into that world. Now...there were a few things that bothered me, but I would say that most of them can be attributed to the length of the production schedule. Sure, the story was probably never going to dazzle me with its depth of character. Sure, some of the post-911 elements felt like they had been draped over the framework of the story rather than fully integrated in the development of the plot (P.S. that kid, his son, should definitely have died. That's just got to be Hook-era Stevie coming into it). And I'm really not sure what the hell was going on with the red fungus, or for that matter, the drinking of the human blood. That business smacked of some unholy smash-up of The Matrix and Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Which comes to another problem, or, perhaps, just a bit of laziness. It almost seemed that Spielberg was mining his own films for some of the most interesting sequences of the film. In the basement of Tim Robbins' blown up house, when the alien probe-tentacle thing is looking for them, I really couldn't help thinking of Jurassic Park and the raptors in the kitchen. The cages holding the humans on the Tripods felt like they were left over production design from A.I. And, I know it's not Spielberg, but didn't Tom Cruise blow up the tripod walker just like Luke in Empire.

I liked the inclusion of the voiceover from the original Mercury theatre broadcast. I was excited when I heard it at first because I thought it might be Keith David, but no such luck. Morgan Freeman, puh! Orson Welles' version was a seminal moment in the history of modern mass media. I think that little history has been made with this latest effort, BUT it was entertaining. I really liked the sound design.

But it was very exciting, and if history shows us anything, Dennis Quaid will be in the second sequel and somehow a theme water park will be involved.

tonight, we see what little stevie's got up his sleeve...

2005-06-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight me and the boys are going to check out "War of the Worlds". I'll check back later with a review of sorts. Until then, watch "Hook" and think about what could have been.

Bangarang!

P.S. Check out what everyone else says here.

Another bit of cool commentary

2005-06-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

Check this commentary by William Gibson that I found on Wired.com.

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/13.07/gibson.html?tw=wn_tophead_6

2005-06-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Hey,

It's been a long time since I've been on this, but here's to work related boredom. For now, check out this interesting piece on Slate by Christopher Hitchens. Tell me what you think.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2121674/

let's try this again

2005-04-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm still trying to get the hang of this site and this blog business. More or less I'm going to concentrate on film news. There will be a touch of music info or thoughts, as well as various rants on various crap that goes down in this world of ours...but...uh, right...

Allistar Chubbs, professional housesitter

so.....

2005-04-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

Allistar Chubbs here...just started this. Still trying to figure out what's going on...more later...